omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize