so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
