so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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