hotel room ftw
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
