I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you never un-have a 4some
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
