I'm going to jail i love you
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
