took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
