so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
