I am spending my child support on dildos
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
