: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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