Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
