I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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