I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
