So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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