If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
