what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
