I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
