you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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