I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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