..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
