The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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