do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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