Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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