I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
