8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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