i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Farmville is her only friend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
