Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
