how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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