thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
