Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
...so i touched it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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