this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
