We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize