Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
