you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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