I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize