You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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