I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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