My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
