all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
