there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
