Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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