So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
