i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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