I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
