apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
