So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize