so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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