but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize