Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
