Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
