Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
