i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
