I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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