He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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