Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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