She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What a dumb baby whore.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
