i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think your dad took our porno
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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