sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
