hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize