No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
