i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize