i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
