A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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