I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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