he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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