dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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