a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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